This Book is Bad for Business! (Joking!)
“Don’t Divorce” by Diane Medved argues that all marriages are precious and most are repairable. I agree with 100% of Medved’s points, but one thing all newlyweds should know is that “Marriage is Hard Work.” Most marriages fail because one or both partners aren’t willing to do the self-improvement necessary to become better partners. It’s similar to an overweight person refusing to change their diet or an alcoholic unwilling to get help.
In the initial stages of a relationship, partners often hide their dysfunctions and try to present the best version of themselves. I remember when I first started dating my spouse; everything seemed perfect. But as we got to know each other, the quirks and flaws began to surface. We had to work hard to understand and accept each other, especially when we decided to get married. It’s a continuous process of growth and compromise. I felt my wife and I weren’t doing wonderfully when I was a daily beer drinker, eating junk food, and not being the best version of myself at work (we both work at the same place too). I took the steps to quit alcohol forever, eat healthy, and just work on being way more patient (probably something I still haven’t mastered) but way better according to my wife.
It should also be known that Diane Medved is Orthodox Jewish. Orthodox Jews are known to have very low divorce rates because of their community support, cultural and religious values, their matchmaking process, and ongoing education.
Medved emphasizes that divorcing with children creates irreparable damage to their lives and futures. Staying together for the sake of the children is a selfless and honorable decision, but I understand why it’s not possible for many relationships.
My final takeaway from “Don’t Divorce” is to avoid getting yourself into bad situations in the first place. If you pick a horrible partner, it’s a reflection of your choices. If you believe you deserve better, then you need to level up yourself as well, and that could be the very thing that saves the marriage you are in right now.